I’m not the best person to deal with emotions. it well-known to family and friends. even though I tend to fake smiles a lot and laugh cheerfully and act happy and stuff but I still somehow feel the despair in myself. senyum yang tak sampai sinarnya ke mata- I use this term a lot. so right now, I’m dealing with something I wanted to avoid. I don’t like the idea of having to avoid a classmate but I don’t like the idea of falling in love too, because I’ll get needy and attached and annoying and hurt. he always a jerk but he stays and listens and comforts, it confusing. I pushed him away but somehow he knew a way to get into the wall. I’m scared because I know, this one too will leave me soon. so soon, like in a step away. deep down, I want him to be around too. but it costs too much of pain. so I wouldn’t dare. I had enough and I will have to be strong enough to let this one go too. right? a guy and a girl couldn’t be best friend. when will you learn sujana? haha you funny. ma, i miss home :(
